Couple stories part 1 – from Ricarda’s perspective
A question that we get asked very regularly is indeed how we manage to be so happy and harmonic every day. We also get asked very often if we ever fight and of course, I understand where these questions come from.
On Instagram and on this blog, it all looks so easy all the time. Of course, we don’t take pictures of us when we fight – we wouldn’t even have the time then! Instead, we publish harmonic, romantic pictures that we both like a lot. Pictures that show us being in love, happy and relaxed.
And indeed, why not? After all, on our channels, we don’t only want to promote our lifestyle, but mainly advertise our love – the only thing that, in the end, is important in life and the only thing that seems missing in this world these days. There is so little love, so many wars and so much pain, so little help from strangers and too few relationships last very long… giving up has become too easy and the next Tinder-date is already waiting around the corner. Or not?!
We often say that, if all people could find love the way we found love, there wouldn’t be any wars or suffering in this world anymore. Our love makes us stronger, more courageous and selfless. Our love challenges us to step out of our comfort zone and to grow beyond ourselves. Day by day, year after year!
Our love makes us stronger, more courageous and selfless…
And yet, there are discussions and also fights in our relationship, mainly based on lack of understanding or misunderstandings. But these days, we fight much less than at the beginning of our relationship, when we first had to learn to understand each other, to learn each other’s language and to be able to interpret the needs and wishes of the other.
Communication is everything, really! It is the most basic but also the most complex thing and if done badly, it can go wrong very quickly. Just look at our current politics. Anyway, at the beginning of a relationship, you first have to learn each other’s language and after that, everything else. Misunderstandings are very often the reason why we fight, but at least, after a few minutes, I have forgotten everything again and all that is left is my unbreakable love for my Max.
Communication is everything, really!
In the end, I had to learn to express myself properly and to think about my words before I utter them. I had to learn that critic isn’t meant to be mean (even though that’s still hard for me). I also had to learn that my habits aren’t normal for everyone and that my opinion isn’t always the center of the universe. I had to learn that there might be other truths than my own and that sometimes, it isn’t important to be right. Discussions mostly end in fights when someone is too stubborn to accept another opinion and so that is something I’m still learning. Not being too stubborn. After all, some discussions on minor things that even turn into fights are so ridiculous that, in the end, we can only laugh about them.
And laughing is really the best cure for any fight. Life is too short to surround yourself with sadness, anger, aggression and all those negative emotions during a fight. Instead, we should always be remember to be thankful for the love, the closeness, the laughing and all the precious moments that only really make sense when shared. And who wants to fight, then?
How about you and your partner? How do you solve your conflicts? I am very much looking forward to your comments!
Photography: Max Bechmann & Ricarda Schernus